Birth Art

I've perused some of the birth art out there in google images and fantasized about starting a collection. I've contemplated which room or wall I would use to display my collection... my bedroom? I really don't know... But I guess I better figure it out because I just received my first two birth art pieces last Friday. Check these beauties out...Now the explanation...

On Friday, my daughters and I were looking at a picture of my oldest holding her little sister on the day she was born. Somehow that picture inspired my 4-year-old to draw a picture of herself being born. (Hers is the top one.)

First she drew me and the midwife. Then she added her daddy later when I reminded her that he was there. I asked her about the face I was making, and she explained it was me making this sound (and then she proceeded to imitate it... cracks me up every time). :-) Strangely enough, she drew herself coming out breech (feet first). She wasn't breech, but she did come out "upside down" or "sunny side up" or "posterior," if you want to get technical. :-) I wish I could say she was wrong about my birthing posture, but she was right on--semi-reclined in a hospital bed. Is it just me, or does it look like my husband is frowning? Coincidentally, he was on the verge of passing out when she came out. The nurses had to escort him over to the couch and wrap him in a blanket right after the delivery. No cord-cutting for him that time!

My older daughter, seeing all the attention her younger sister was getting from her birth drawing, decided to draw her birthday as well. Hers is much more a testament to the sheer number of birth videos she has watched with me than what actually happened on the day I pushed her into the world. In her birth fantasy, I pushed her dark head of hair (see the dark spot between my legs?) out in a pool with a midwife attending nearby. In real life, I pushed her dark head of hair out semi-reclined in a hospital bed with a resident wiping my poop away with each push. I think I'll let her keep her fantasy... at least for now. ;-)

I can't help but feel triumphant that they both assumed, as a matter of course, that they were caught by midwives, and I gathered from our conversation that they also assumed they were born at home (like their baby brother). In their eyes, that's just the way it's supposed to be. Midwives, birthing pools, doulas, and the "birth song" are permanent fixtures in their reality. I hope they will seek out the care of expert midwives when it comes time for their babies to be born, but perhaps they won't. For now I'll just revel in the beauty and innocence of their 4-year-old and 6-year-old visions of birth.

Wrapping

Everywhere I go wearing Bubs in my wrap, people stop me and either comment about how great it is or ask me about it--where to get one, how to make it, and how in the world I get Bubs and myself into it.

Recently, in an email conversation that briefly touched on baby wraps, my friend, Fig, said: "I definitely want one. I'm just afraid I'll lose the baby in it and never be able to get [her] back out. Or strangle us both or something. They look SO intimidating to me." For her sake (and because so many people have asked me how), with the help of photographer Ax, I present to you my step-by-step wrap-tying photo demonstration...

(I cut my head out of most of the photos 'cause I have a tendency to produce embarrassing facial expressions. Click on the photos to see them larger.) :-)

Step One: Find the middle of your wrap, place it across your belly, and pull the ends around behind your back and cross them.Step Two: Once you've got the ends pulled up over your shoulders, check the fabric crossed behind you to make sure there aren't any twists that will create uncomfortable pressure points. Cross the ends in front of you and tuck them inside the fabric across your belly.Step Three: Pull the ends around your waist behind you. Depending on the length of your wrap, either tie them in a secure knot in the back or wrap them around the front again and tie them at your belly. And you're done.(Since Bubs was in bed, I grabbed Mr. Teddy to demonstrate the child-insertion.) To hold the baby facing you, stick their legs through the fabric crossing your chest and spread it out over their bottom so it creates a secure little "seat." Strips of fabric should travel from your shoulder, underneath each of the baby's legs, and then behind you. The idea is to make sure they can't possibly slip out the bottom. Then pull up the fabric crossing your belly around the "seat" for extra support and security. I'll let the pictures mostly speak for themselves.You can use the same tie to carry the baby facing out as well, though this is less comfortable for the baby-wearer since the weight is less naturally distributed. I find I can wear Bubs far longer facing me than I can when he's facing out, but I still wear him out when he's wide awake and wanting to watch stuff. Same basic instructions, but the baby is turned out (obviously). :-)There are loads of other types of carries and ties that I haven't learned yet. I think as Bubs gets bigger, I may look into some of the carries with baby on the hip or back 'cause they're just more manageable with a heavier load. But this basic carry has been all I've needed so far.

I LOVE my wrap, and I love being a walking advertisement for babywearing! So let this serve as a warning: if you prefer to be "invisible" when you're grocery shopping, don't wear a baby in a wrap, 'cause people WILL stare at you and/or talk to you about it. :-)

One more tip: wearing baby down.

About six years ago I learned from Dr. Sears' Attachment Parenting Book about "wearing baby down." The idea is that sometimes the usual bedtime ritual doesn't do the trick and baby is still wide awake. If you put that baby cuddled-up to you in a wrap and go about your business with the dishes or making lunches or whatever it is you need to do, it's almost guaranteed that baby will soon be asleep. Worked like a charm last night with Bubs.Then I carefully stretched the fabric around and off of him and laid him in bed. Love it. :-)

Call for birth stories

Two years ago I posted a request for birth stories on this blog. But I got busy and never followed-through with my vision. Good news though... someone else is on the ball! I just got into contact with a woman who needs birth stories for her book. It sounds to me like it's going to be a fabulous project, and I can't wait to be a part of it. Here's how she describes what she's doing:

I am writing a spiritual birth book titled The Gift of Giving Life. It is going to be somewhat of a cross between Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth and Gurmukh’s Beautiful, Bountiful, Blissful, but for an LDS audience. I am looking for positive natural birth stories from real LDS women to include in the first half of the book and was writing to see if you would like to submit your story, or any part of it. I believe that personal stories have the power to inspire others and make them see what is possible, so I’d like to gather as many stories as I can.

Basically, I’d like to know what inspired you to learn about and go with natural child birth, then I’d like the whole story or as much as you’d like to tell. Since it is for an LDS audience, I would love it if you didn’t hold back on anything you learned spiritually or any experiences that you might leave out in the tale when you tell it for a different audience. My deadline is coming up, so please let me know if you can send me anything. I can’t promise I’ll include it in the book, but if I do, you’ll know beforehand and I’ll give you the option of being somewhat anonymous if you choose.

Since many of my readers share my faith, I thought I'd spread the word. I'd also guess that birth stories from women of other faiths would also be welcomed as well. I think the key is showing the spiritual journeys that bring women to natural birthing. If you're interested in sharing your stories, check out the author's blog here: http://thegiftofgivinglife.blogspot.com/.

Happy dispatch

My cousin(-in-law) has two adorable boys. She had hoped to give birth unmedicated with both of them, but pitocin threw a huge wrench in things and necessitated pain relief, so she's extremely determined to avoid induction/Pitocin with the birth of her current baby-in-utero. So I was positively giddy with excitement when I got this email from her this morning:

I had my first prenatal appointment today. Long story short, everything is great. She had no trouble finding the heartbeat - about 165 bpm, loud and strong. I love that noise. :)

And the practice I'm going to? GOLD MINE. Seriously, I could not be more impressed. They will let me go two weeks overdue without inducing, and when they do induce, pitocin is sort of a last resort. They had a sign up boasting their statistics (and I would too if I had their numbers):

* 7% cesarean rate
* 32% epidural rate
* 11% induction rate
* less than 1% of newborns are admitted to the NICU
* 6% vacuum delivery (no forceps)
* 72% intact perineum rate (no tears or cuts)
* jacuzzi tubs are encouraged for use during labor and delivery
* eat and drink whatever you want during labor
* no IVs unless medically necessary
* no routine episiotomies
* no continuous fetal monitoring unless medically necessary
* birth in any position you would like
* have as many family members and/or support people at your birth as you would like, including baby's siblings

I mean, seriously!? Are you kidding?! And this is at a HOSPITAL. I could not believe it. I actually asked if they do VBA2Cs, and while they don't advertise it, they will definitely sit down with women, look at why they had two previous cesareans, and the practice has attended successful VBA2Cs in the past. I think I might email [my 2-cesareans friend] about it, just in case she wants to have another kid and wants a hospital option - we're only like 1.5 hours away.

Anyways, I was there for over an hour and a half, explaining my past experiences and what I'm hoping for this time. I met with the NP who does most of the prenatal visits (since the CNM is often busy doing deliveries), and she's great. I'll meet with the CNM (who does all of the deliveries) at least 2-3 times before I go in.

Oh, and the walls were covered with birth announcements (as you often see at OB/CNM clinics), and what struck me was how big these babies were - most were over 8 pounds, and there were quite a few that were over 10. I was so impressed to see these big babies next to this poster of amazing birth statistics and such a low cesarean rate. Seriously, can we never move?! If we lived [here] forever, I think I would end up having 15 babies with these people.

Anyways, all is well. I'm getting so excited about this little one. :)

No medals here

Wow. Huge thanks to Jill (The Unnecesarean) for sharing this fabulous post by Arwyn: "Just like athletics: exploring a childbirth analogy." Jill described it as her "favorite breakdown of the childbirth-athletics analogy," and I have to agree that it is definitely my new favorite as well.

Arwyn eloquently discusses how our culture is quick and eager to praise, admire, and encourage those engaged in athletic feats--marathons, sporting events, and even local 5Ks, but when a woman attempts natural childbirth (a likewise challenging physical feat), she is lucky if she finds one or two supporters to cheer her on. Instead, far too often, it is those on the sidelines who should be her loudest cheerleaders who tell her she "can't do it."

I am personally saddened and disheartened when I (frequently) hear women tell me that it is their husbands who say, "You're definitely not tough enough for a natural birth," or who "can't bear to see her in pain," and thus push her toward an epidural. Would they also suggest that she's not tough enough for a marathon, if that was her goal, or stop her in the last grueling miles of the race and say, "You need to stop... I can't stand seeing you in so much pain"? I certainly hope they wouldn't. All this stuff has brought to mind this post from last June--"Nobody thinks you're a hero."

Here are a couple of teasers from Arwyn's post:

Everyone has heard of and no one doubts the existence of “runner’s high”, so why do we start plugging our ears and rolling our eyes and flapping our tongues when we speak of “birthing high”? Just as in athletics, in the absence of intolerable pain and unnecessary interferences (the latter of which is all too often responsible for the former), birthing has the potential to produce the most delicious chemical cocktail which feels good. (Divine even: I certainly felt like a birthing goddess afterward.) Even discounting that, or in its absence, there is potential for pride and a sense of accomplishment: something we value so much in athletics, yet scoff at in childbirth, where our effort benefits both us and another. We deny women that pride in accomplishment (for which support of athletics is so vital to girls’ sense of self and women’s equality), that boost in self-esteem and feeling of competency, right when we need it most: at the start of parenting, one of the most demanding journeys a person can undertake. . . .

But the current cultural construction of birth must change: not by moving backward to a time when women had no options in childbirth, and were expected — even encouraged — to suffer, and in which there were no medical interventions for when they were truly needed; but forward, to a time when our bodies are valued, our spirits are supported, and the work of birth is seen as hard, yes, and even sometimes painful, but within reach of most of us, and oh so worth it: just like athletics.

And some pics, for fun...

My dad (in the blue hat) finishing the Boston Marathon as a 50th birthday gift to himself, with his friend, and my (now deceased) brother, Steven, running the last 5 miles with him (behind my dad)...Me and my husband with his Boston Marathon finisher's medal (April '08)...My husband helping me run my first 10K, the longest race I've ever run...And then again, helping me through one of the most difficult (and best) experiences of my life (with my doula as another cheerleader)...So much better than a medal...